): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
