You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
oh god the rape fog is back!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
