yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
