You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
