Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
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Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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