# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
