I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
