I just pynch a tree in the face
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize