sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
