do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize