I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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