think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
