She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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