I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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