He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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