Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
