Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(269): View more from Michigan

I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(269): I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient. http://tfl.nu/pars

Replies (10) Good night (574) Bad night (2196)
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo. (1-519): like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family. http://tfl.nu/xf88

Replies (17) Good night (6352) Bad night (764)
Favorite
(208): View more from Idaho

you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.

(1-208): View more from Idaho

did we at least go back and get it?

(208): View more from Idaho

how else do you think we got jack in the box...?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(208): you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too. (1-208): did we at least go back and get it? (208): how else do you think we got jack in the box...? http://tfl.nu/t8wq

Replies (21) Good night (6469) Bad night (863)
Favorite
(650): View more from California

The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(650): The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life. http://tfl.nu/2quw

Replies (6) Good night (683) Bad night (4245)
Favorite
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(403): so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them. http://tfl.nu/j4fw

Replies (7) Good night (7657) Bad night (853)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often http://tfl.nu/iv13

Replies (25) Good night (4336) Bad night (1019)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick. http://tfl.nu/gzhw

Replies (15) Good night (4565) Bad night (804)
Favorite
(985): View more from Louisiana

Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(985): Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next http://tfl.nu/7632

Replies (9) Good night (953) Bad night (3715)
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer. http://tfl.nu/vrnz

Replies (4) Good night (1754) Bad night (712)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible... http://tfl.nu/6e9j

Replies (6) Good night (1644) Bad night (958)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight. http://tfl.nu/viha

Replies (6) Good night (1086) Bad night (513)
Favorite
(843): View more from South Carolina

They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(843): They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER? http://tfl.nu/zyzi

Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (407)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once. http://tfl.nu/2lkb

Replies (6) Good night (497) Bad night (216)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned. http://tfl.nu/qyit

Replies (8) Good night (386) Bad night (1177)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz http://tfl.nu/s64c

Replies (3) Good night (870) Bad night (233)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: