Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.

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  (215): Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless. http://tfl.nu/tw3i
  Replies (142) Good night (2550) Bad night (2271)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  would you consider him our boss?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  technically yes

  (360): View more from Washington

  then technically i slept with our boss

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  (360): would you consider him our boss? (503): technically yes (360): then technically i slept with our boss http://tfl.nu/5m3t
  Replies (22) Good night (3941) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party

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  (301): i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party http://tfl.nu/u2ba
  Replies (3) Good night (788) Bad night (1888)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?

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  (608): do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life? http://tfl.nu/au0e
  Replies (13) Good night (5228) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays

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  (908): It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays http://tfl.nu/4h3r
  Replies (8) Good night (938) Bad night (3068)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.

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  (916): The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood. http://tfl.nu/ro5l
  Replies (9) Good night (5217) Bad night (1478)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.

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  (410): Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE. http://tfl.nu/kxu1
  Replies (7) Good night (3507) Bad night (1831)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.

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  (617): Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex. http://tfl.nu/9jjl
  Replies (4) Good night (4128) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.

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  (847): This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy. http://tfl.nu/ha0a
  Replies (20) Good night (3090) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you

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  (269): If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you http://tfl.nu/cez4
  Replies (5) Good night (1935) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".

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  (661): he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard". http://tfl.nu/69oo
  Replies (9) Good night (1335) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.

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  (480): She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress. http://tfl.nu/19rj
  Replies (4) Good night (634) Bad night (1357)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  God bless us, everyone.

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  (228): I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!" (601): God bless us, everyone. http://tfl.nu/p8dj
  Replies (2) Good night (1195) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.

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  (540): You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you. http://tfl.nu/4u5p
  Replies (6) Good night (2182) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  okay we need to get tested.

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.

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  (732): okay we need to get tested. (1-732): no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride. http://tfl.nu/uj9n
  Replies (2) Good night (312) Bad night (491)

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