I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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