A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think this conversation is over.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.