She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize