sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
