wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
