so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He better not be in your backpack
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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