Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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