How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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