haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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