Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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