dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
