good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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