no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't think brook has ever known best
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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