you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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