dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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