woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
