i think my tv is drunk
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
