You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize