remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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