I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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