I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
