her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
