I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
