i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
