Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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