i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
