i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
