There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
