the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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