I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
