How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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