When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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