he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
