dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
