U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
that's an acceptable place to lick
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize