i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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