so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
