is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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