Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize