i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
