u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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