I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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