Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
